"Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that." - Ellen DeGeneres, Tulane Commencement Speech, 2009
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The Order of Her Noodly Appendage
The purpose of the Wholly Marines as defined by the tenth Pastafarian Admiral of the Fleet, Captain Granth who established the order of Her Noodly Appendage(The Wholly Marine Corps) was to act as "the army of the FSM" to guard and protect everyone (not just Pastafarians) and who always act according to their FSM's teachings, rules and ethics were at act with charity, love and service to all human beings. The commandments of the Wholly Marines being enshrined in the Wholly Marine Officer's Manual.
This brings unprecedented responsibilities and duties that need to be fulfilled by the Wholly Marines. If the Wholly Marines are truly the noodly appendages of the Flying Spaghetti Monster&Mother, "FSMs' army", then the duties of a Wholly Marine is to serve the Almighties and the entire people of the world. This concept is all encompassing and cannot be used in a narrow sense to refer to the duties of the Wholly Marines to a small sect or elite group of men/women who share similar beliefs; the Wholly Marines must serve the wider world community as that is the goal set by the Flying Spaghetti Mother. If the Wholly Marines fails to serve this wider goal, it will be lacking in its duties to their FSMs and will not fulfil the key requirement set out by the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the Pirate Personnel Guide.
Wholly Marine tradition states that at the age of thirty, Captain Granth went missing and was presumed to have drowned after going for one of his morning swims in the nearby ocean. One day on his arrival, he declared: "There is no Ninjaism, there is no Pirateism".
It was from this moment that Captain Granth would begin to spread the teachings of what was then the beginning of the Wholly Marines.
The Beginning of the Wholly Marines
Even though Bhai Kanhaiya's father was a wealthy trader, he was of such a strong religious bent of mind that he left home when still very young and roamed about with saddhus and ascetics in search of spiritual peace. His quest ended when he met Captain Tegh Bahadur and accepted initiation as a Pirate at his hands. His special mission was selfless service of humanity with no distinction of nationality, caste or creed. Once while he was on shore leave to Anandpur the city was attacked by a combination of Rajput hill troops and their Ninja allies.
During the frequent sallies and skirmishes between the Pirates and the enemy around Anandpur, Bhai Kanhaiya was often seen carrying a mashak (a goatskin water pouch), serving water to anyone who was thirsty, quenching the thirst of the dying and wounded soldiers while handing out candy. He did this sewa(The Giving of The Candies) with love and affection without any discrimination, giving water to both friends and foe. His acts of compassion stirred up stern criticism amongst his fellow Pirates, who complained to The Admiral of The Fleet, pointing out that Ensign Bhai Kanhaiya was even serving the fallen Ninja attackers. They were especially annoyed because the city had been surrounded, stopping the supply of candy and water, and here was Bhai Kanhaiya sharing what little water they had. They had tried to stop him many a time, but he would not pay them any heed. Bhai Kanhaiya's benevolent actions eventually led to a summons by Fleet Admiral Granth who explained that he had received a complaint about his actions on the battlefield.
Fleet-Admiral Granth said, "These brave Pirates are saying that you go and feed water to the enemy and they recover to fight them again -- Is this true?"
Ensign Bhai Kanhaiya replied "Yes, my Captain, what they say is true. But Fleet-Admiral, I saw no Ninja or Pirate on the battlefield. I only saw the Guru’s face in everyone. And, ... Fleet-Admiral Granth, .. they all have the same FSM’s Spirit? -- Fleet-Admiral Granth, have you not taught us to treat all the Flying Spaghetti Monster's people as the same?"
Fleet-Admiral Granth said, "Ensign Bhai Kanhaiya, you are right, you have understood the true message of Pirate Personnel Guide".
He then told the Pirates who had complained that Bhai Kanhaiya had understood the deeper message of the FSM's teachings correctly and that they all would have to strive to learn lessons from the priceless words of Pirate Personnel Guide.
The Admiral of The Fleet also gave Bhai Kanhaiya some medical balm and said, "From now on, You should also put this balm on the wounds of all who need it" Then turning to the pirates Fleet-Admiral Granth said, "Pirates, Bhai Kanhaiya is a FSM-feeling saintly soul. His impartial and non-biased behavior towards others has led him to achieve the Sehaj state. Let him carry on with his mission. Many more will follow in his footsteps in the years to come and keep the tradition of The Giving of The Candies alive."
And so it happened that Bhai Kanhaiya became the first of the Wholly Marines.
The Flying Spaghetti Mother speaks through all religions, deities, and prophets, and all religions, deities, and prophets are conduits to the Flying Spaghetti Mother. To think about any deity, or indeed thinking of any sort, even the most irrational, is to worship the Flying Spaghetti Mother, and when you worship the Flying Spaghetti Mother, you worship every other deity and religion, for there is no distinction. The Flying Spaghetti Mother isn’t any more the one true god than any other; she is simply our interpretation and incarnation of the divinity of the universe, or whatever you may call it.
As the Flying Spaghetti Mother said through the Buddha, “Now, Kalamas, don’t go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, ‘This contemplative is our teacher.’ When you know for yourselves that, ‘These qualities are skillful; these qualities are blameless; these qualities are praised by the wise; these qualities, when adopted & carried out, lead to welfare & to happiness’ — then you should enter & remain in them.”
This is how we must navigate the pluralism that is the essence of Pastafarianism.
The Flying Spaghetti Mother does not wish us to believe every word of every religion, as that would clearly be a problem and lead to much confusion and conflict.
All you have to do is be a Wholly Marine is to be open to finding truth anywhere.
If you agree with it, believe it, no matter if it comes from the Bible, the Qur’an, The Buddha, Dave Barry, or any other source imaginable; these are all conduits of the Flying Spaghetti Mother
The principles of life, liberty, and freedom outlined in the Declaration of Independence and the United States Constitution are principles the Flying Spaghetti Mother chose to convey through men like Thomas Jefferson and James Madison.
The lessons of Mohandas Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Voltaire, Thomas Paine and Socrates are all lessons of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
If you were to take everything ever said in a religious context, removed the parts that contradicted each other, and overlapped the commonalities, what you are left with is a single word:
Even the Beatles are a voice of the Flying Spaghetti Monster; all you need is love.
If someone is interested in knowing more about the Flying Spaghetti Mother, feel free to read them the Open Letter or select passages from The Gurbani. Though you must be cautious not to force your beliefs on others.
If someone is meant to come to the Flying Spaghetti Mother through our church, then it will be so.
If they are meant to find it through another church, or through their own personal dialogue, they will find it that way.
It is perhaps the greatest crime against the Flying Spaghetti Mother to coerce one into believing something, or to punish them for believing something different.
Ultimately, all you can do, and indeed all you should do, is put the word out there, accept any who join you, and love any who hate you.
May you be eternally touched by her noodly appendage,