YiffieMon:Stages of Relationships

5 Stages of Relationships

Strangers(“I know of you”)

Strangers are people you begin to share information with on a superficial level. This might be someone you greet in the “hallway” at work or school. A stranger might be someone who “makes” eye contact with you on the bus, or someone who has been introduced to you for the first time by another person. You would begin to speak to a stranger in general terms that reveals very little, if any personal information. Topics might be the weather, current events, or what town or city they live in. If you both respond positively to the “initial” conversation, you might consider participating in some activities that stranger might do. If things go well, you would advance to the next circle: casual acquaintances.

Things strangers might do=

Attend activities and events together such as volunteer work; agree to meet up at the gym or movie; meet at a coffee shop to get to know each other better; meet to engage in a sport like running, kayaking, or skateboarding. They might meet at the mall to do some shopping together. It can be any activity that can takes place in a public setting that will allow you to get to know the person better.

Acquaintance(“I know you”)

Acquaintances are the people we see on a fairly regular basis that we “sort of know,” at least well enough to make idle small talk, but with whom we don’t really have the desire or emotional attachment needed to deepen the connection.

You still do not know each other well enough to share personal information. If it feels comfortable or “right”, you might ease into sharing some feelings and thoughts but only “positive” ones about non-controversial topics. You’re there to have fun, share a task or coffee together and you should keep conversation light and friendly. This stage is all about getting to know one another better, but not divulging a lot of personal information or intimate details. If things continue to go well, you would advance to the next circle: friends.

Things Acquaintances might do

Attend some of the activities you would if they person were a stranger. At this point it is OK to take some risks to see if you both have things in common such as likes and dislikes, all while using caution, as you still do not know the person very well. You want to make sure they are genuine, and that you have enough in common to consider making this Acquaintance a friend.

Casual Friend(“I like you”)

Casual friends are typically those with whom you spend time within shared activities or with whom you cross paths on a regular basis and whom you have gotten to know enough to feel ready to call a “friend.” You might love all the members of your painting class, have a laugh with them during the meetings, and even hang out with them outside of class, but they are people that you probably wouldn’t hang with if you didn’t share this particular activity.

As you move into this circle, you begin to trust one another more. You feel secure enough when you are in the other person’s company to be more spontaneous, laugh, giggle, tease, and share stories and life experiences with each other. It’s OK to discuss negative things as long as you spend more time talking about positive ones and leave on an upbeat, emotionally supportive role. If all goes well (give it a couple of months or even a year or more, if needed), you would advance to the next circle: deep friendship.

Things Casual Friends might do

Spend some face-to-face time with the person regularly (at least once every two weeks). Be willing to share personal information and gain personal information about the other person. Be willing to support each other’s needs while really getting to know their likes, dislikes, philosophies, and character traits.

Romantic Friends(“I enjoy you”)

As Casual Friends, BUT … you both need to be willing and able to give and receive physical gestures (e.g., hold hands, hug, or kiss).

Romantic Lovers(“I love you”)

Lovers have more complex feelings than liking.

They are willing to share their true selves in a tit-for-tat way but aren't committed to helping when life sucks so bad that they just want to cry, hide, or run away.

Must be high in Friendship of the good.

A if they have a crush and and they are Romantic Friends they become Romantic Lover when they make each other orgasm in the same sex scene(having done it while the relationship wasn't in the Romantic Friends stage) they instantly Jump up to this stage

Close Friend(“I understand you”)

Close friends pretty much always start as acquaintances who turn into casual friends and whom you have enough mutual admiration and affinity that you share a little more of yourself, they share a little more about themselves, and you continue to enjoy getting to know one another and spending time together.

Close friends are the ones that you call when life sucks so bad that you just want to cry, hide, or run away. Close friends are those you trust with many of your secrets and the friends who put up with you even when you’re in a lousy mood or need to talk at 2 am when your love life splits wide open.

It takes much longer to reach this stage. By this point both of you have experienced each other closely for so long that you trust each other deeply. Your relationship has been tested and you have seen each other through good times and bad times. You have also seen each other at your worst and survived.

They are aware and familiar with each other's intimate life. Also, they both know and help each other to accomplish their life goals; hence, the emphasis on emotional investment. Both people have seen each other at their best and at their worst, and they have stayed around regardless. This is the stage where friends can begin to understand the each other truly.

You’re best friends and are cautiously testing true intimacies.

Moving to this step takes time but also a commitment from both people to continue working on the relationship.

Intimate Friend(“I connect with you”)

Intimate friends are the most intensely connected. These are the friends that you let into the inner sanctum of your heart and mind, who you trust with the deepest secrets, and who you know will never let you down or betray your trust.

Some people form this type of friendship with their partner, but that’s not always the case. One woman describes her close friends are her “soul sisters” and her partner knew that when they married, the “soul sisters” were going to be part of their “family” for life.

Intimate Friendship is defined as a very close connection, so an Intimate Friend is an individual who you are familiar with. This stage is attained over time, through shared experiences, and, most important, through vulnerability. It is through vulnerability that a friendship reaches this stage. At this level, one freely shares their deepest secrets such as their biggest insecurities and their biggest fears. It is from this level of intimacy that friends become connected soul to soul, and they commit to the development of each other's character and as people. This is the stage where one is considered a true friend. The saying that embodies the spirit of this level of friendship is by Aristotle in which he states, "a friendship is one soul occupying two bodies." These individuals truly understand each other.

Aristotle’s Three Friendship Types

Thousands of years earlier, Aristotle described three types of friendships—utility, pleasure, and good.

of Utility

Friendships of utility are the friendships some of us would call “friendships of convenience.” These are the folks with whom we share carpool duty, or whose home we keep an eye on while they’re out of town because we’ll need them to pick up our mail when we go on vacation next month. It might be the woman you sit beside on the train everyday: You’d never find any other reason to enjoy her company otherwise, but she’s familiar, pleasant, and safe.

Friends of convenience or utility are the people we rely on and on whom we can rely on for small tasks and a willingness to help out so long as the expectations of investment aren’t too great. Once the needs are no longer present for the assistance to be of value, these relationships are likely to evaporate quickly.

of Pleasure

Friendships of pleasure are those friendships that are all about simply enjoying one another’s company and having a good time together. This type of friendship includes the neighbors that you like having drinks with on your deck on summer evenings or the crowd you always get a coffee with after a book club meeting. These are the people you count on to keep your mood light or your mind off your troubles.

They might be the Sunday afternoon football crowd, the monthly Bunco brigade, the moms that you enjoy hanging out with at your kids’ soccer and softball games. They might be the folks who show up at the same parties to which you are invited and who always make you feel welcome. You can spend a lifetime hanging with these types of friends: They bring you happiness, your presence has the same effect on them, and there’s no deeper demands on of either of you. So as long as the friendship continues to be a pleasure, it can endure.

of Good

Friendships of the good are friendships based on mutual respect, admiration, and appreciation for the qualities each of you brings to the relationship. These may begin as a function of propinquity, shared interests, or shared life stage, but the spark between the two friends is lit and the opportunity for increasing mutual self-disclosure and connection is harvested.

In a friendship of the good, you value who that friend actually is, strengths and weaknesses alike, and there is sufficient trust between the two that the relationship’s quality and depth outshine those of other types of friendship. These relationships endure and are fed by the mutuality of the esteem and appreciation between the true friends – even if the time between meetings stretches into months or years.