Editing WoMon:Forming Tamer/WoMon Relationships
Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.
The edit can be undone.
Please check the comparison below to verify that this is what you want to do, and then save the changes below to finish undoing the edit.
Latest revision | Your text | ||
Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
− | + | Establish trust. Build trust with someone you know very well or not at all. There are varying opinions as some suggest forming a power exchange relationship is more meaningful with someone you know well. An alternate perspective says a power exchange can be effective, or more so, with someone outside your general “everyday” life. In the second circumstance, some may feel less reserved about giving up their power. It is a matter of preference and end game. It just depends on what you are looking to get out of the power exchange. | |
− | + | A Taming contract, which we'll discuss later, is something you might opt for to ensure you’re on exactly the same page as your partner. Talk about what you’re interested in, what has you worried, fantasies and fetishes you have, your romantic and sexual history (including any trauma) and your health (diabetes or arthritis may require you to adjust your Taming activities). | |
− | + | The more you talk, the more likely your Tamer/WoMon relationship will provide you with what you need and want from it. | |
− | |||
− | |||
== Avoid Fear == | == Avoid Fear == | ||
People are sometimes afraid to form power exchange relationships because of moral “hangups.” Ethical pinnings may keep them from engaging in conduct they view as morally bankrupt, for example. Establishing trust and setting boundaries will help dispel anxiety or fears. | People are sometimes afraid to form power exchange relationships because of moral “hangups.” Ethical pinnings may keep them from engaging in conduct they view as morally bankrupt, for example. Establishing trust and setting boundaries will help dispel anxiety or fears. | ||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
== Learn Social Exchange Theory == | == Learn Social Exchange Theory == | ||
Line 43: | Line 34: | ||
You come together, do your kinky fuckery thing, and then go your separate ways. The connection is friendly and real, but this isn’t someone you rely on every day for direction. | You come together, do your kinky fuckery thing, and then go your separate ways. The connection is friendly and real, but this isn’t someone you rely on every day for direction. | ||
− | ==== | + | ==== Bedroom Only ==== |
− | Many Tamers and WoMai begin in the | + | Many Tamers and WoMai begin in the bedroom only, especially if they aren't in an existing vanilla relationship together and want to test the experience first. |
In this context, Taming is much more sexual in nature. Taming Sessions begin as quick hookups then morph into clearly defined roles between the two. | In this context, Taming is much more sexual in nature. Taming Sessions begin as quick hookups then morph into clearly defined roles between the two. | ||
− | Once the Session is over, you revert to your more typical roles with little or no power exchange. Titles, tasks, rituals, and other trappings of Taming occur | + | Once the Session is over, you revert to your more typical roles with little or no power exchange. Titles, tasks, rituals, and other trappings of Taming occur in the bedroom (figuratively or literally) but not anywhere else. Many relationships begin here and switch to a 24/7 style, but do what works best for your relationship. |
==== 24/7 Tamer and WoMon ==== | ==== 24/7 Tamer and WoMon ==== | ||
Line 64: | Line 55: | ||
The people involved in a platonic Tamer/WoMon relationship can (and often do) care for each other very deeply. A bond is formed between them that can be as strong as any romantic relationship. Do not discount non-romantic Tamer/WoMon as somehow less than romantic attachments. The same amount of communication and trust is required to make it work. | The people involved in a platonic Tamer/WoMon relationship can (and often do) care for each other very deeply. A bond is formed between them that can be as strong as any romantic relationship. Do not discount non-romantic Tamer/WoMon as somehow less than romantic attachments. The same amount of communication and trust is required to make it work. | ||
− | Maybe the most important thing to take away from is that there is no right or wrong way to do Taming. Casual, | + | Maybe the most important thing to take away from is that there is no right or wrong way to do Taming. Casual, bedroom, 24/7, or some hybrid form of all of it – they’re all valid ways to find satisfaction, happiness, love, or connection. All that matters is that you and your partner find what works for you, build trust, communicate constantly, and always get consent first. |
Line 80: | Line 71: | ||
===== As Equals ===== | ===== As Equals ===== | ||
+ | |||
Most of the relationships that exist today are considered equal relationships. This means that each person has an equal decision-making right. Essentially this means that the couple take turns being the lead. It can be during bill paying or sex or any other house-making roles. One leads and the other follows, but it's seamless really. Both parties feel that they are giving and receiving equally and that is how communication and honesty develop. | Most of the relationships that exist today are considered equal relationships. This means that each person has an equal decision-making right. Essentially this means that the couple take turns being the lead. It can be during bill paying or sex or any other house-making roles. One leads and the other follows, but it's seamless really. Both parties feel that they are giving and receiving equally and that is how communication and honesty develop. | ||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
===== Tamer-Led Vanilla ===== | ===== Tamer-Led Vanilla ===== | ||
Line 132: | Line 116: | ||
== Set boundaries == | == Set boundaries == | ||
− | + | Set clear and respectful boundaries beforehand, this act alone is rife with healthy communication, boundary-setting, mutual respect, trust, teamwork, and honesty. | |
− | |||
Commonly referred to as “workable formal structure,” rules need to set the standard of behavior between partners. | Commonly referred to as “workable formal structure,” rules need to set the standard of behavior between partners. | ||
Line 139: | Line 122: | ||
== Have a structure == | == Have a structure == | ||
You will have to establish rituals to form a power exchange relationship to define who has the authority and who will not. People often assign actions to each other to do this. Wearing a collar, positive directive and negative law, for example. | You will have to establish rituals to form a power exchange relationship to define who has the authority and who will not. People often assign actions to each other to do this. Wearing a collar, positive directive and negative law, for example. | ||
− | |||
=== So what is structure? === | === So what is structure? === | ||
Structure is an organized framework for one's routine. It can be decided upon for exactness or you can have a more flexible structure that allows you some freedom for decision making. | Structure is an organized framework for one's routine. It can be decided upon for exactness or you can have a more flexible structure that allows you some freedom for decision making. | ||
Line 149: | Line 131: | ||
Rules are the backbone of structure. They provide the correct way to do things within the structure established. Some relationships have a lot of rules and others have very few. This is decided upon how flexible the structure of the relationship is. It is not necessarily better or worse to have a lot or a few rules. The only thing that matters is if you follow them correctly. | Rules are the backbone of structure. They provide the correct way to do things within the structure established. Some relationships have a lot of rules and others have very few. This is decided upon how flexible the structure of the relationship is. It is not necessarily better or worse to have a lot or a few rules. The only thing that matters is if you follow them correctly. | ||
− | Is structure present in every relationship? Sure on some level, there is structure in every relationship, vanilla or otherwise. In a Taming context, the structure may be more pronounced if it exists. | + | Is structure present in every relationship? Sure on some level, there is structure in every relationship, vanilla or otherwise. In a Taming context, the structure may be more pronounced if it exists. Bedroom submissives tend to have less structure than 24/7 submissives and slaves likely have even more than that. |
What is your structure like? Is the framework your rules map out really well defined or do you have some liberty to improvise to get the job done? | What is your structure like? Is the framework your rules map out really well defined or do you have some liberty to improvise to get the job done? | ||
Line 159: | Line 141: | ||
== Conclusion == | == Conclusion == | ||
And to conclude this chaper, I encourage everyone to be open-minded and explorative. I, for one, am somewhat pleased that S&M has been made more prevalent in the mainstream media, as it’s opened up the possibility of a discussion, education, and experimentation | And to conclude this chaper, I encourage everyone to be open-minded and explorative. I, for one, am somewhat pleased that S&M has been made more prevalent in the mainstream media, as it’s opened up the possibility of a discussion, education, and experimentation | ||
− | |||
− |