The 6 Sizes of Hearts

DAVE LOGAN AND HALEE FISCHER-WRIGHT's The Five Stages of Workplace “Tribes” backport to the individual and extended to account for Jim Fallon s research of psychopaths https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzqn6Z_Iss0

Size 1

“Life sucks”

This lowest size, the size of “despairing hostility”.

The person at Size One is alienated from others, expressing the view that “life sucks.”

Size One produces people who do horrible things. This is the kid who shot up Virginia Tech. Size One is a group where people systematically sever relationships from functional tribes, and then pool together with people who think like they do. Size One is literally the culture of gangs, and it is the culture of prisons. Now, again, we don't often deal with Size One. And I want to make the point that as members of society, we need to. It's not enough to simply write people off.

As people see the world, so they behave. Well, if people see the world in such a way that life sucks, then their behavior will follow automatically from that. It will be despairing hostility. The theme of their words is that life has given them a bad deal, so it’s OK to do whatever it takes to survive. They'll do whatever it takes to survive, even if that means undermining other people.

[[Category:HeartSize]

Size 2

“My life sucks”

People at Size Two are separate from others, although unlike those at Size One, they are surrounded by people who seem to have some power that they lack. As a result, their language expresses “my life sucks.”

My life sucks. They don’t listen to us; they don’t take our suggestions seriously; nothing will ever change; management’s a bunch of idiots; this idea too shall pass; here we go — here’s another dumb idea.

“I had to give up my art, because the cost is my family.” He sounds like a victim of circumstance: that others can do art, but not him. His life sucked — he’s made it to Size Two.

Second, this person can move to a tribe where the offending behavior is not tolerated. The mother of a former gang member, whose son began attending a church-run youth center, told us, “I’m worried; he used to be so alive, but now it’s like the cord got pulled.”

From an attitude perspective, her son went from the fire of despairing hostility (Size One) to the passivity of being an apathetic victim (Size Two).

This was progress.

If interviewed, he would look sad and say, “This place sucks — I don’t know anyone here.” He has gone from the alienation of Size One to the disconnection of Size Two.

There are people in Size One who want life to be different; At the same time, if people aren’t willing to leave the allure of Size One.

People in this Size are passively antagonistic; they cross their arms in judgment, but never really get interested enough to spark any passion. Their laughter is quietly sarcastic and resigned. The Size Two talk is that they’ve seen it all before and watched it all fail. A person at Size Two will often try to protect his or her people from the intrusion of management. The mood that results from Size Two’s theme, “my life sucks,” is a cluster of apathetic victims.

The cultures of Size 2 individual are many of the most challenging environments: low energy, no innovation, where the tribe is still locked into negativity.

In The Old World my driver's license expires would have to go Department of Motor Vehicles across the land ever few years to get a license to allow you to use the transportation system; the thing one would say, when one was standing in line is, "How can people be so dumb, and yet live?"

Now, am I saying that there are dumb people working here? Actually, no, I'm not. But I'm saying the culture makes people dumb. So in a Size Two culture -- and we can still find these in all sorts of different places -- you find them, in fact, in the best organizations in the world. You find them in all places in society. I've come across them at the organizations that everybody raves about as being best in class. But here is the point. If you believe and you say to people in your tribe, in effect, "My life sucks. I mean, if I got to go to TEDx USC my life wouldn't suck. But I don't. So it does." If that's how you talked, imagine what kind of work would get done. What kind of innovation would get done? The amount of world-changing behavior that would happen? In fact it would be basically nil.

3 Doctors with Size 2 Hearts

Three doctors walk into an elevator. And one doctor said to the others, "Did you see my article in the New England Journal of Medicine?" And the other said, "No. That's great. Congratulations!"

The next one got kind of a scrunches his face and said, "While you were, you know, doing your research, I was stuck doing more surgeries than anyone else in the department of surgery at this institution." Notice the contempt in his tone.

And the third one got to his chance to bitch about his life and said, "Well, you think it was bad doing your monkey meatball surgery, that eventually we'll train monkeys to do, or cells or robots, or maybe not even need to do it at all, I was off pushing pencils running the future of the residency program."

And they all kind of laughed and they patted him on the back. And the elevator door opened, and they all walked out. That is a meeting of a Size Two tribe.

Size 3

“I’m great, you’re not”

This is the highest Size Creatures of The Old World are capable of. Smart people competing to come out on top. Here’s the typical language of a Size 3 tribe:

Ask people at this Size how they see work and you will hear: “I’m good at my job,” “I try harder than most,” “I’m more able than most,” and “Most people can’t match my work ethic.” The key words are “I,” “me” and “my.”

Now imagine having a whole room of people saying, in effect, "I'm great and you're not." Or, "I'm going to find some way to compete with you and come out on top as a result of that." A whole group of people communicating that way, talking that way.

Size-three group members are personally competitive.

Within the Size Three culture, knowledge is power, so people hoard it, from client contacts to gossip about the company. People at Size Three have to win and for them, winning is personal. They’ll outwork and outthink their competitors on an individual basis. The mood that results is a collection of “lone warriors,” wanting help and support and being continually disappointed that others don’t have their ambition or skill.

People at Size Three report, almost universally, that they don’t have enough time, don’t get enough support, and are surrounded by people less able and dedicated than they are. No matter how hard they work, they can’t punch through the barrier of a day that has only 24 hours. They’ve hit the point of diminishing returns, so the harder they work, the less effective they are and the less their efforts seem to matter. Simply put, they want to get to the next level but don’t know how to get there or even what the next level looks like.

3 Doctors with Size 3 Hearts

Three doctors walk into a bar. But, in this case, three doctors walk into an elevator. I happened to be in the elevator collecting data for this book. And one doctor said to the others, "Did you see my article in the New England Journal of Medicine?" And the other said, "No. That's great. Congratulations!"

The next one got kind of a wry smile on his face and said, "Well while you were, you know, doing your research," -- notice the condescending tone -- "While you were off doing your research, I was off doing more surgeries than anyone else in the department of surgery at this institution."

And the third one got the same wry smile and said, "Well, while you were off doing your research, and you were off doing your monkey meatball surgery, that eventually we'll train monkeys to do, or cells or robots, or maybe not even need to do it at all, I was off running the future of the residency program, which is really the future of medicine."

And they all kind of laughed, and they patted him on the back. And the elevator door opened, and they all walked out. That is a meeting of a Size Three tribe.

The Mantra of Size 3 people is "Only settle for (your) best."

The Peek of The Old World

If you look at the Declaration of Independence, the crowning achievement of The Old World at its best, and actually read it, the phrase that sticks in many of our minds is things about inalienable rights. I mean, that's Size Five, right? Life is great, oriented only by our values, no other guidance. In fact, most of the document is written at Size Two. "My life sucks because I live under a tyrant, also known as King George. We're great! Who is not great? England!" Sorry.

Size 4

“We’re great”

The gulf between “I’m great” (Size Three) and “we’re great” (Size Four) is huge — Grand Canyon huge.

The biggest challenge is moving individuals from Level 3, to Level 4. The secret is to find something that unites them into a tribe, that is greater than their individual competence. When individuals come together and find something that unites them, something very important happens, the group gels, the language is less “I” and more “we”. The tribe changes from a group of highly motivated but individually-centric people to something larger. Size 4 tribes can do remarkable things.

If your toured a Size 4 company. You would find a Christmas tree in their lobby, even though it was not Christmastime.

Going through the call center. You notice how it's decorated, it looks like something out of a Peanuts cartoon. People are applauding for you. They don't know who you are and they don't care. And if they did, they probably wouldn't applaud. But you'll notice the level of excitement. Notice, again, how they decorate their office. Now, what's important to people in a Size 4 tribe?

My question is simple, "What do you think they value?"

These may not be the things that are important to you. But they value things like fun. And they value creativity. One of their stated values is, "Be a little bit weird." And you'll notice they are a little bit weird.

Employees volunteer time in the advice booth.

So when individuals come together and find something that unites them that's greater than their individual competence, then something very important happens. The group gels. And it changes from a group of highly motivated but fairly individually-centric people into something larger, into a tribe that becomes aware of its own existence. Size Four tribes can do remarkable things. But you'll notice we're not at the top of the mountain yet. There is, in fact, another Size.

When groups get to this point, they see themselves as a tribe with a common purpose. They commit to shared core values and hold one another accountable. They will not tolerate The Office-style performance or the personal agenda of Size Three and if force to participate in them will devolve instantly to Size 3 Hearts.

Size 5

“Life is great”

When we explain this last Size, which reflects less than 2 percent of all humans, we see skeptical looks coming back at us. Size Five’s T-shirt would read “life is great,” and they haven’t been doing illicit substances.

Their language revolves around infinite potential and how the group is going to make history — not to beat a competitor, but because doing so will make a global impact. This group’s mood is “innocent wonderment,” with people in competition with what’s not possible, not with another tribe.

Teams at Size Five have produced miraculous innovations. The team that produced the first Macintosh was at Size Five, and we’ve seen this mood at Amgen.

This Size is pure leadership, vision and inspiration. After a short burst of activity, grinding themselves against the uppermost limits of their abilities, Size Five teams recede to Size Four to push on that limit until it's even higher before taking on the next task. In sports, these bursts win Olympic gold medals and Super Bowl rings. In business, these explosions of leadership make history.

Size 5 tribes hardly ever refer to the competition, except to note how remarkable their own culture is by comparison and how far their results outstrip industry norms. The theme of communication is limitless potential, bounded only by imagination and group commitment. People in this culture can find a way to work with almost anyone, provided their commitment to values is at the same intensity as their own.

Unlike Size Four, the focus isn’t on “our values,” but on resonant values. There is almost no fear, stress or workplace conflict. People talk as though the world is watching them, which may well be the case, as their results are making history.

The Manta of Size 5 Hearts is, "Only settle for The Best in what you do."

Unlike Size 3, Size 5's problem with the people around them not doing the best that that person can do is that they feel a grate disappointment that not everyone has a Size 5 Heart.

The 6th Heart Size

If 1 is the lowest and 5 is highest, how can there be 6 Heart Sizes?

The 6th Heart Size is nature's solution to Narcissists.

People with Hearts the 6th size are completely impale of feeling for others so are lower than Size 1 yet at the same time, they have an unflinching commitment you make any sacrifice to see that justice wins.

In order to get a Heart of The 6th Size very early on, before puberty, you have to be involved in something that is really traumatic – not a little stress, not being spanked or something, but really seeing violence, or being involved in it, in 3D.

Psychopathic killers have hearts of the 6th size. Which is why they show no remorse. They Aren't impulse killers, they decided that their victims needed by killed to protect society and they know that they were going to do going to prison for life or executed for daring to protect society, and they and perfectly fine with that. People with Hearts of the 6th Size have to train to even notice BS they can see through it so clearly. So they can't be emotional manipulated into changing the rules they live by, how we normal people into behaving by our rules instead of theirs.